Wednesday, April 6, 2016


Sometime I just don't want to go. I love getting out and having adventures with my family- but going all the time really drains me. My husband loves to go and do anything. On the weekends he can handle a few hours inside and then he wants to get out and do something. We are so different. Home is my sanctuary, my place. It take a lot of time before cabin fever sets in. I'm pretty much a classic introvert- needing quiet moments to recharge and think. Home time fills me up but it drains my husband. He loves people and interaction, adventure and busyness. It's the same way with social situations. I enjoy having people over and meeting new people-- to a point. Too much and it drains me, while for my husband it fills him up.

So when it comes to "what shall we do on our day of rest?" I think, "lets spend a family day at home" and he thinks, "lets get out of this place!" It use to really bother me. In fact we have had so many arguments over this topic. Me always wondering, what's so bad about me and our home that you can't stand to be here? Why do you constantly have to be around other people, aren't I enough? And him wondering why I got burnt out on social-commitments so easily and why meeting and interacting with new people is such a herculean feat for me.

We constantly fell into that same trap- accusing one another of being weak, dysfunctional and even sinful when what we really are is different. Really different.  Certainly, there are times when both of our personalities can take these traits too far- and we do need a little push to be more balanced. I have learned over the years that I can let things like this tear our marriage down or build it up. I still find myself thinking at times that things would be so much easier if he was more like me. I am so thankful that the Lord brought us together though. These differences, while they don't make life easier, they have made our marriage and ourselves stronger in the long run. My husband has encouraged me to live life outside my comfort zone and I have grown so much because of that.

So now when he asks me to go, I say yes-- mostly. I try not to think about all the chores I need to do around the house, the books that I could be reading or the many tasks left undone. Instead, I pack a picnic lunch and head to the beach with my people. Other times when I am feeling really stressed or over-taxed, my husband generously offers to take the kids somewhere so I can recharge.

Embracing each others differences has brought a lot of peace to this aspect or our relationship. Thank goodness he is not exactly like me because the balance we bring to each others lives is so important. We are different in so many ways, this being just a small example. These differences can either be a poison in our marriage, feeling my way is the "right" way and my spouse is flawed. Or we can let the Lord use these to refine us, make us stronger and develop empathy and appreciation for our spouse. I'm trying to choose the latter. Trying and sometimes failing, but trying all the same.

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