Saturday, January 2, 2016

The Bitter in the Sweet

Inevitably this time of year causes me to look back. There have been some really great moments and memories made this year. On top of those amazing moments have been times of great fear and worry for us.

One of the biggest changes this year has brought is a new little life growing inside me. I cannot wait for Miss Elsie to join our family. I know that it will be one of the highlights of 2016. However, part of me is absolutely terrified. Everything in our family is about to change again. We will create a new normal and everything will be okay, but there are some hard days ahead.

We really felt the Lord leading us to grow our family again. Emotionally though, I would say I didn't really feel like it. It meant another long pregnancy battling my ICP. Fearing the moment when my hands and feet would begin to itch. I am incredibly glad and thankful for this baby, but there have been late, dark night filled with worry.

This year also brought a desire within my husbands heart to change jobs. He has worked incredibly hard to become qualified for the position he wants. He put in a lot of hours and hope into making a career change. So far it has yielded... not much. We are trying to trust in the Lord's timing and praying, praying that He would open a door there.

My husband and I have made HUGE steps towards reclaiming our marriage. This has been one of the best parts of 2015 for me. A lot of it has come in the form of embracing our many differences and making them work for good in our relationship. Sure, we had our share of stupid fights too. However, now I don't feel like fighting or unsaid problems define our relationship.

2015 brought a lot of victories. Mostly though, I am thankful for the Lord's mercy during my many, many failures. Thankful that dark days and dark thoughts don't prevail. Thank you Jesus for new years and new mornings.

No comments:

Post a Comment